If I were the president of Love.

If I were the president of Love:

I would invest in education. Since early on in school, students would learn that men and women are different, that nobody can make us whole (except ourselves), take away our pain, make us happy, or fill our existential hunger with things that, because they give us some sort of well-being, we let happen even if they are no good for us. That isn’t how Love works. Starting out with the basics, students would be taught that the most important relationship of all, is the relationship they have with themselves. At the school of Love, students would learn about breakups — how to move on, how to get over it, and what to do with the void that is created after a relationship suddenly dies. More importantly, men and women would know that Love isn’t about the butterflies in their stomach. Lust is. Not to mention, there is no such thing as “the one.” There is, however, such a thing as a hype. Nobody has just “one” love of their life. That’s ridiculous. The school motto would be: Nothing is forever. Everything is finite, and change is inevitable. Having learned all that Love must be, graduates would know exactly when a relationship is past its use-by date, and therefore, should be ended.

Selfish, lying, cheating men and women would pay harsh penalties.

Being in a relationship would call for tax exemptions or, at the very least, deductions in restaurants, at the movies, especially for the cost of using mobile phones.

After a breakup, one would be entitled to a two week vacation.

Men and women would have the right to bear no bullshit, drama, or silly dating games.

Relationships can be anything, whatever works best for the people. So the people would have the right to undertake marriage with an individual of their choice, whether that be same sex or otherwise.

The same goes for having children according to one’s ability to provide, health, and level of emotional maturity. No one should grow up like Precious. Society must transcend.

Coming out as trans, lesbian, gay, Bi, poly, or anything else would be commended, and celebrated.

Therapy for those who fail to commit or don’t love themselves would be mandatory and very, very comforting.

Lastly, if I were the president, the king, the ruler, the master of Love, everybody would feel quite awesome, positive, and like everything has been worth it. I’d make Love a profound experience nobody would ever regret, no matter what, because one would’ve been previously taught in Love school that sometimes you Love and sometimes you learn. And the latter, is never something to think of with a sense of disappointment.

So I’ll raise my glass to all the men who have given me very much. Go, be happy, be free, you deserve a huge shout out, if nothing else, for making this girl a bit wiser.

 

Copyright © 2014 Elisa Marie Hopkins. All rights reserved.

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